


I'm Jean Kirschtein, Resident Asshole

by Ryuchan20



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Doctor Drama, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Probably will adjust tags as I go and as more characters and couples come up, character illness, hospital au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 13:30:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2271510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuchan20/pseuds/Ryuchan20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirschtein is your typical cancer doctor with a serious insistence on being known as an asshole and harboring a massive crush on his new work colleague. The problem is Doctor Marco Bodt likes to make a point never to get too chatty with him. What's even worse is Jean's friend/annoying asshole Eren Jaeger seems to be the core reason for Marco's antisocial behavior. Jean just doesn't know why or who to ask, or if he even wants to know. He does, however, really want Marco and will be willing to use his asshole tendencies to wring the truth out of both of them somehow whether they like it or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hi, I'm jean Kirschtein

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I've posted publicly in like five years. I am so sorry if it's awkward at all. I generally don't write in first person but I felt the story would benefit from it in this case and this is also a writing exercise of sorts for my novel.
> 
> In any case please enjoy my little plot bunny turned fic idea for Jean and Marco.

 

Hi, I'm Jean Kirschtein, and I am an asshole.

 

Wait, maybe that's too strong to lead in with. Let's try again.

 

Hi, Jean Kirschtein here, 29 years old, attending doctor at St. Maria hospital. More specifically, I'm an Oncologist, meaning that I work in the cancer ward of the hospital. It's not a terrible job. Even though the hours are long and the emotional drainage is more severe than some jobs, but I feel like I make a difference everyday, no matter how small. So what's the problem, other than the fact I'm so busy I can't find time to hold down a decent romantic relationship?

 

“Doctor Kirschtein, it's about the patient from this morning in 2465, I had a question about the chemo dosage.”

 

It's this guy. Doctor Marco Bodt, the newest doctor to come on board at the hospital and also a tall, dark and handsome, freckled dreamboat. Problem is he makes a point to not socialize with me outside of work if he can help it. “Yes, what's the question?” Leaning over I glance down at the patient's chart but I can hardly pay attention. It's only that part of me that has a duty to my patients that makes me focus and give the best answer, even if Marco's big brown eyes just make me want to pull him right into my arms and kiss his face. Man, I have it bad. “At this point we're just running off lab tests with her case, so the dosage is just a shot in the dark. Though, so far, we haven't had any patients with other types of Leukemia react badly. But, since she has a more aggressive type it's always a possibility she'll have bad side effects, which is why it's such a small dose.”

 

“I see.” Marco nods in understanding but the second the conversation is over he clams up again.

 

I want to say that I don't understand why Doctor Bodt seems to have a serious problem chatting with me, except I have a pretty good idea why, though I don't know the details.  
  
“Jean, I need to get your okay. The patient in 2487 is starting to get Red Man's, so I want to slow the drip on the Vancomycin.” Eren Jaeger, twenty-eight, and nurse in the cancer ward.

 

“I should go too, I have more patients to check on.” Marco smiles at us, then excuses himself and I have to sigh.

 

The problem I think, has to do with Eren and as much as I want to ask, I seriously doubt this idiot will know the reason. In fact, while Eren and I have worked together for four years now, I honestly cannot stand him unless it has to do with work and even then we're pushing it. Oh well, there's still fours hours left on my shift and I can't spend the whole time pondering the mystery of Marco, although that sounds like a job I'd definitely want.

 

Looking at Eren I follow him to the patient's room. After a brief examination I confirm the reaction and give the okay to slow the drip on the antibiotics. So a day goes by in a place full of sick people and all I can do is try my best to make them better. Most of the time, it simply feels like I'm just extending their time by a few months, or if I'm lucky, a few years. Sometimes I'll send a patient off who's been “cured”, but there's always a lingering fear of it not being permanent.

 

Moving on from my depressing doctor thoughts, there's the issue of Marco. He only came to the hospital about three months ago. Apparently, to my understanding, he and Eren both were at the same college and had a few medical classes together. Despite the fact that Eren was going to be a nurse, and Marco a doctor, they didn't exactly stop hanging out even when their beginning, shared classes ended together. They stayed friends throughout and Eren had been all too happy to see Marco again when the sexy, god of a man waltzed into our ward with that angelic smile. However, and as dense as I can be this was not lost on me, Marco's warm smile that had shined brightly when we greeted him seemed to go tense the moment he realized Eren was working here too. Which is why I believe that the reason Marco won't carry a proper conversation with me, outside of the patients, is because for some reason I'm friends with the insensitive, moronic asshole that is Eren Jaeger.

 

“Jean.”

 

I really don't know why I even hang out with him.

 

“Hey, Jean!”

 

A fry smacks me in the face and I blink as my thoughts of Marco, and pissed off feelings over Jaeger, fade into the background of my mind. “What?”

 

Eren stares back at me with that stupid, annoyed expression that pisses me off. “You're spacing out. I was asking if you were off tomorrow? Mikasa, Armin and I are heading to the bar tonight to hang out since I'm going to be off too.”

 

Honestly, why do I hang out with this guy? “I am not interested in being the fourth wheel in your happy trio of love.” Right, because despite what you might think, I too, am a giant asshole.

 

“Oh, fuck you! Just cause you can't keep a date.” Eren tosses another fry at me, which I promptly grab, slamming it down into my ketchup. “Seriously, they were asking about you. Y'know how Armin likes to fret over just how stressful the job can be. He says...if you need to talk...”

 

“I have no interest in getting counseling from Armin, Eren.” Shoving the fry into my mouth I chew it more times than needed to just to keep myself from talking, telling Eren how annoyed I am with his stupid, happy, little life. See the thing is, Eren is in a poly-amorous relationship with his two childhood best friends. That's right! This smug, annoying asshole doesn't have just one significant other, but two! They are all so god damn happy with each other it makes me want to cry every time I'm with them. How unfair can life be?

 

“Look, are you coming out with us or not?” Eren bites down on his sandwich, and sips at his milk, with his green eyes practically burning holes into me.

 

I try to glare back, as intimidatingly as a man can while sipping milk from a little carton through a straw, but finally decide I may as well give in. Otherwise, Eren will nag me about being an antisocial loser all day until I finally agree anyways. “Fine.” I ignore his victory smirk in favor of finishing my very late lunch/dinner meal. I hadn't gotten much of a chance to eat today, we've been so busy and it's already almost evening.

 

Two more hours to go.

 

I finish by seeing my last patient for the day. A little girl, barely twelve years old, and recently diagnosed with AML. It's not exactly uncommon for young kids to have it, but it's still not something I like seeing, ever. I catch sight of Marco, adding disinfectant to his hands after removing the gown and gloves. “Hey.” I smile at him, wondering if, finally, we can have a conversation outside the usual pleasantries.

 

He looks over and smiles back at me, and boy is it beautiful. “Are you finished for the night, Doctor Kirschtein?”

 

“Yeah.” I walk over, jamming my hands in my jacket pockets. “Got me a hot date watching other couples being disgustingly cute, you?”

 

He laughed. “Hardly anything as exciting, I'm afraid. Probably just getting a pizza and watching movies on netflix with my cat.”

 

Ah ha! He has a cat. That's one new thing I learned already! “That actually sounds way more fun than my plans.” I tilt my head, admiring him. It's a rare moment where I can actually have him facing me and smiling without things going awkward or discussing business. “Hey, if you don't think your cat will mind, why not come along? With me, I mean.”

 

Now Marco's smile fades a little and his brows raise up as those brown eyes widened. I can faintly make out the starting appearance of dark circles under his eyes. Has he not been getting enough sleep? I feel like an asshole for asking now if the poor guy really hasn't gotten enough sleep “Go out with you and your friends?” There's a distinct way Marco says 'friends' that leaves me feeling odd.

 

“Yeah. I am getting drinks with Jaeger and his childhood friends. You might know them since you guys went to the same school. Armin and Mikasa?”

 

The moment I say the names, I knew I made a mistake. Marco's somewhat apprehensive expression goes dark, but not in a creepy, angry way, more like a sad way that leaves me feeling like a giant asshole once again for even asking. “Sorry, I don't really like doing that sort of...thing.”

 

“Which sort of thing? Going out to drink with work colleagues? Or drinking with Jaeger?”

 

Marco looks at me as if I'm treading on taboo ground and I am reminded, once more ,what a complete asshole I am. No, I'm not being hard on myself either, because if you know anything about me, you will know I can be a little bitter, petty even, and my comment about Eren was so fucking intentional they'll surely name an Asshole of the Year award after me in the future.

 

Scratching my head I finally look away from him, mostly because I can't take that expression he's giving me. “Sorry...I just noticed you tend to not like to stick around when he's near is all.”

 

“No, it's just...Eren and I don't...really get along.” Marco's voice sounds so small and when I look back up at him again he's looking away from me now. He's got a far off look in his eyes that I've seen a lot sicne he came here. It only makes me want to press for more, such as why Marco doesn't like being around Eren.

 

“Hey, no big deal! I get it. He's an annoying little shit.” I laugh, aware of how fake it sounds but what else can I do at this point? “But you probably shouldn't tell Eren that cause he makes it sound like you two are the best of friends.”

 

Again I want to kick myself because Marco looks at me with a wry smile that is so far removed from his usual radiant ones. I feel like I should be shot for darkening the sun. “I guess you could say we used to be.” The hallway is suddenly filled with the footsteps of a nurse rolling a cart down the hallway and we step aside to let her pass.

 

“So, guess I'll see you Monday?” I am so tempted to blow off Eren, just to ask Marco out for drinks alone but the shit I will get from the trio makes me hesitate. I'm tired, I've worked six days straight and if my precious day off is ruined by those three...I might actually kill all three of them.

 

“Right... Have a good night, Doctor Kirschtein.” Marco's smile looks a little lighter and I only assume it's because I changed the subject.

 

“I keep telling you to call me Jean.” I snort, nudging his shoulder. “Don't be a stranger now, alright? And get some sleep, cause you look like hell.”

 

“I'll do that...Jean.”

 

Oh. Holy shit, I wish I had recorded that, just so that I could hear it over and over. The way Marco says my name is just a little shy, and so adorable that I almost forget to start walking away.

 

I'm still thinking of Marco even after changing out of my scrubs and heading to my car. Climbing in, my phone vibrates in my pocket and I take it out and glance down to see one message.

 

**From: Eren**

**You're still coming to the bar, right?**

 

I glare at the screen, cursing the man's name. It's because of Eren that Marco seems to shy away from me! And as much as I wished I could punch the little asshole for it, I can't. Mikasa might actually break my legs if I even tried. There was once a time I wouldn't have minded Mikasa breaking his legs if it meant she'd touch me, but that was back when Eren first started at the hospital and their weird friendship began. Oh, I should mention that while I am currently crushing hard over a sexy, brown eyed boy, I did once pine after a gorgeous dark haired woman, who had a stare that would bring men to their knees. Hi, Jean Kirschtein, 29 year old bisexual oncologist.

 

I type out a quick reply before tossing my phone on the passenger seat, starting my car. Even as I pull out of the parking lot I'm still thinking of Marco. Everything about the guy is my type and if things were normal I would have asked him out right away but... things are not normal. No, Marco Bodt has some baggage and before I make an ass of myself trying to get myself into his bed and into his heart, I need to find out the extent of this baggage.

 

So I drive towards the bar where one of the reasons for Marco's baggage is most likely, snogging on his darling boyfriend and girlfriend, to find out where the hell to even start.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there's the little opening chapter. I hope you liked and thanks for sticking with me to the end. I'm making a point to update this fic twice a week at least, but might be more frequent if the plot sticks with me. Thanks again for reading.


	2. A Doctor's Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean somehow survives a short date with his trio lovers and goes home to think of Marco before reality slaps him in the face and he's reminded of his job. While Jean tries to always maintain a distance from his patients for his own sanity's sake, some just weasel their way into his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who's read this. I'm sorry again for any typos or awkwardness as I bumble through this. We get to see Jean work as a doctor more in this chapter. Enjoy!

“You look like hell.” Mikasa's stone faced expression really sold the jab she gave as I sat down across from them.

 

“Damn, and here I thought I was so attractive that you'd finally leave Eren and Armin, for me. How disillusioned I have been!” I feel the sharp pain as a foot kicks my shin under the table. In truth, I honestly don't know which of them did it. Rubbing at my aching shin, I stare across the table at them and I can already see Armin's thoughts leaning in a direction I don't want them in.

 

“Jean, how is the stress?”

 

I hold up a hand. “No. You are not going to get me all emotional and shit while I'm enjoying a drink, Armin. Work is fine. Same as always. I haven't killed anyone this week...so far.” It's not that I don't need to talk, I do, I really do but I'm not about to make a friend play counselor with me when I could go see a stranger and gush to them instead.

 

Armin doesn't look convinced and he's doing that damn eyebrow thing where he either looks constipated or worried. It honestly looks the same to me. “Well then how-”

 

“How's your love life, Jean?” And Mikasa earns fifty points for the second most undesirable conversation that I wanted to have this evening.

 

“It's...” I struggle for the right word to use, something that says 'I'm looking but it's mostly been one night stands with my left or right hand', “-uh...it's um...”

 

Eren rolls his eyes. “For Christ's sake, Jean! You haven't had a date in months. I know that for a fact, otherwise you'd be bragging about it nonstop, all day, and whenever we pass each other.”

 

“That was once!” I snap and the look on the Eren's face makes me amend that comment. “Okay...twice... Fine, three times but I mean, we saw how those went. So, maybe I have found someone and I don't want to jinx it by telling your dumb ass about it.” Yeah, except that's impossible this time cause the guy I want is Marco and Marco avoids me like the plague because of Eren. Well, I think so anyways. Maybe Marco just wasn't into me, but I could have sworn tonight I'd seen Marco considering coming with me to the bar till I dropped Eren's name.

 

“Tch, right.” Did Eren fucking just click his tongue at me? Did I hear that right? “I'm more than sure that there's no one. Otherwise, you'd tell someone and I'd still hear about it!” He's getting fired up now, like Eren usually does, practically ready to spring over the table unless I admit I'm a loser with no love life.

 

“You don't know, Eren. I don't tell you everything!” Out of spite I grab Eren's drink and finish it off. I immediately regret it. Oh god, it was warm beer and just about as refreshing as being thrown up on by old man Pixis earlier that day. “Ugh...god that was so gross.” Flagging down a waitress, I hear Mikasa's steady tone, even over the music of the bar.

 

“So, is there anyone you're interested in?” She's staring at me, I can feel it even as I struggle to not make eye contact. Despite being shot down and knowing that she and Eren and Armin are a thing, I still think she's really fucking attractive. Sure, there is still a little tinge of regret but I'm not about to piss and moan about it. It simply wasn't meant to happen.

 

Mikasa doesn't speak again 'till after I've ordered and the waitress returns with my drink. As I lift the cold glass to my lips I hear her again. “Jean.”

 

Fucking Christ, are everyone's friend's this nosy? “There's _maybe_ someone, but like I said, I don't wanna jinx it.” I also don't want to let Eren know yet, not until I can figure out what the hell the deal is between them. Unfortunately I don't exactly think Marco is going to spill his guts to me anytime soon, so Jaeger may be my only hope in finding out the truth. This thought alone depresses me and my next sip of beer is far more generous than my first.

 

“Well, that's good to hear.” Armin smiles and I have to wonder if he's really relieved or just trying to not look hurt that I refused his offer to talk. “You'll introduce us once you're not worried about jinxing it anymore, right?”

 

I want to say he probably already knows the person but my eyes flick to Eren before I nod and raise my glass again. “Of course, but it's not happening anytime soon so don't hold your breath.”

 

“Poor Jean.” Mikasa's voice once again cuts like a knife.

 

“Don't poor Jean. Jean fine. Jean don't need no man or woman to tie him down.”

 

“Jean also talk like cave man when lying.” Eren mimicked.

 

I want to throw something at his stupid face and I zero in on the plate of fries the trio is munching on. With lightning quick reflexes, I grab one and toss it at the other man. I don't miss and the fry hits him in the forehead before falling into his lap. However, where I expected a pissed off response what I ended up with was all three of them watching the fry's tragic descent as it landed on, what I assume, was Eren's crotch.

 

Now, I don't think of myself as a mind reader but I have been around these three long enough to notice certain looks. When all three pairs of eyes came up, focused on one another, a sudden smile came over Eren's lips followed by a question I will forever pretend I didn't hear. “So, either of you wanna help a guy out?”

 

“Oh god, I am leaving.” I down the rest of the beer and get up from my seat. It's bad enough that a girl he was into not less than four years ago, is a part of this relationship, but to have them flaunt their obvious sex drive in front of me was a whole other blow to my lonely ego.

 

“No, Jean, I was kidding! Come back!” Eren's calling to me and I want nothing more than to ignore him but there's a part of me that remembers that, despite how much of an asshole he can be, he is also still my friend.

 

I give a rigged wave and hope that's enough to let him know there are no hard feelings before heading out to my car. It's a lonely drive home. The music on the radio has gone from a plucky pop hit to the popular romance ballad of the season. I turn it up a bit as it reminds me of Marco. If only I could figure out how to approach him. If it's Jaeger than all I have to do it invite him out alone without Eren knowing. Of course, this particular task is easier said than done. 

 

The issue is I want to try, I really do. I hardly know anything about him, except for his bright smile, his pretty brown eyes, those faint freckles over the bridge of his nose and cheeks and...oh yeah, he has a cat too. Still, I don't know much other than what I've observed but that doesn't stop me from wanting to know more. I want to know anything the other is willing to tell me. It doesn't even have to be why he and Eren seem to have tension between them. It could be about literally anything and I would be chomping at the bit to hear it.

 

By the time the song ends, I'm almost home but the thoughts of Marco don't fade with the music. Tonight they'd actually talked and he'd made some jokes even! Well, playful jabs if anything but it was still progress. I turn down the last street and roll up to my house at the very end of the cul-de-sac, parking in the driveway. It's late and a lot of my neighbor's lights are off so I quietly head up to my door and unlock it. Flicking on the light I'm greeted by the cold, empty presence of no one... Seriously, not even a pet. I wouldn't have time for onehonestly. I did try fish but that ended spectacularly bad with Armin and Mikasa confiscating them from my place. Apparently, they are all thriving quite nicely at the Jaeger-Arlert-Ackerman residence.

 

A hot shower and another cold beer later find me on the couch surfing channels. Adjusting myself on the couch, I space out while I try and find something to watch, even if the only thing on at this time of night is crap. I really should just invest in netflix. Luckily, I snap out of my daydream to click on a classic, “The Fifth Element” is always a good movie to ease a lonely night. Sighing, I watch as the smooth-talking badass, Korben Dallas, takes on aliens and the lovely Leeloo kicks serious ass. While normally this movie helps me unwind, I find myself thinking of Marco again. The perfect one. I can kinda relate to Korben now. Marco is, at first glance, perfect. He's sweet, handsome, and mysteriously interesting. However, I'm not the type to go all manic pixie dream boy on someone. I know Marco has flaws, and probably plenty of baggage but the thing is, I wanna see them. I want to know them.

 

I can feel my eyes getting heavy but I'm so into my thoughts of Marco that I find myself giving in and fall asleep on the couch even as explosions and Chris Tucker's screams as Ruby Rhod blare out of my TV.

 

 

I don't wake up till after nine the next day, and it's only because someone is calling me that I even bother moving. Fumbling for my phone on the coffee table, I over extend and tumble right off the couch. “Shit!” Oh god, my hip is so going to feel that later. I can already feel my back cramping from sleeping on my couch. I blink, look at my phone, and run my thumb over the little green phone icon to answer it. “Kirschtein here.” My voice is hoarse and weak, still heavy with sleep.

 

“Dr. Kirschtein. I'm calling about the results.”

 

My eyes open wide and I'm up in a flash. “Yeah?”

 

“Well, we got the results from the spinal tap and-”

 

 

I'm at the hospital forty minutes later. I'm tired and it's my day off but this cannot wait. While my entire potential romance with Marco is important, there's another story I want to focus on for a moment. The story of a very sick girl and her girlfriend.

 

Glancing at the chart with the results, I sigh and slide open the door. Peeking into the room, I see her in the bed. She's tiny, very tiny and her size has only shrunk more from the petite woman that first came into the ward. She's wearing a little blue beanie on her head to keep warm. She used to have a head full of pretty blond hair, but with the types of chemo they had to give her, it hadn't lasted the first month of treatment. “Good morning, Krista.” Smiling I step into the room and I see her eyes turn to me, a weak smile upon her lips. It breaks my heart.

 

“Dr. Kirschtein.” She turns her body on the bed, being mindful of her arm that's full of various IVs.

 

Next to her bedside is another woman, much taller, darker complected, and wearing a matching beanie to cover her own now bald head. When Krista's hair began to fall out she said that if it was coming out she didn't want to needlessly hold onto it. So we shaved her head. Ymir insisted on doing the same.

 

Ymir looks up at me now, her gaze almost intimidating but I've grown used to it and note the concern within it. “Doctor.”

 

“How are you girls doing today? Krista, based on the notes here, it seems like your appetite is coming back a little.”

 

Krista nods. “Yes, though everything still tastes weird.” She tries to sit up and I hurry over to help her get upright.

 

“You don't need to get up if you're tired.” I glance at the IVs to see what's running. She's on several antibiotics and blood platelets. It's not an uncommon sight but it's not a pretty one to see, ever. “Are you still getting nausea or has the medicine been helping?”

 

“It's better. If I eat slow it's not as bad.”

 

I notice Ymir's hand going to Krista's and brace myself. “That's good. I came today because I got the results back from your last spinal tap.” I hope they don't notice how hard I'm holding the clipboard, knuckles white. “The blasts are not dropping anymore and are on the rise again actually.”

 

“What does that mean?” Ymir sits upright, her stance, even sitting, borders hostile in a way.

 

“It means that the chemo we gave Krista didn't knock it down like we hoped.” Looking between the girls I can see two distinctly different expressions While Ymir seems alert and panicked, Krista is calm, focused. “We can't go to transplant like this so we're going to have to start you on chemo again, next week.”

 

“This is already her third dose!” Ymir snaps but her body suddenly goes rigged and she looks at Krista. I can see Krista's small hand holding Ymir's tighter than she was before.

 

“I know that we've had to hit you pretty hard with the chemo. The problem is the type of Leukemia you have is particularly stubborn... So, I think if this next mix that I have in mind is successful we can go to transplant.”

 

“It's fine.” Krista's calm voice is almost eerie. “I trust you, Doctor Kirschtein. And I can be pretty stubborn myself.” Her smile is tired but genuine and it eases my worries to see she hasn't given in yet.

 

“I know and fortunately, I'm a stubborn bastard myself, so I don't think this stuff has a chance.” I hear her giggle at my blunt comment and it brings a smile to my own lips. I make a note on the chart and head to the computer to log in a few notes for the nurse. “I want you to rest up for the week to try and get your strength back. This next round will be a little more gentle on you though no treatment is without side effects.”

 

“I can take it.” She sounds confident and I'm eased once more.

 

“Alright, then I'll let you girls get back to whatever you're doing and I'll see you tomorrow.” Taking off my gloves I toss them in the trash and step out. I usually make visits quick, it's easier to focus on the disease but sometimes, some patients get close and it's hard to pull away.

 

“Dr. Kirschtein.” Ymir's voice is unmistakable and I turn, seeing her stepping out of the room, shutting the door behind herself. She looks tired. It's another common thing I see here. The patients growing tired and weak, their families growing tired and more worried. “I want you to be straight with me.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“What chance does my baby have of recovery?” It's a question I expected a lot sooner than this. Hell, we've been at this five months now just trying to get Krista's Leukemia down enough to go to transplant, but the shitty disease is stubborn. Maybe Ymir has been trying to stay positive up till now for Krista's sake or maybe it's all sinking in finally.

 

I honestly don't know how best to answer. There's always the statistics but also my experience. “Honestly, this type is never good. What Krista has is a very aggressive case and while we can use a lot of drugs to kill off, it's going to slowly wear her down too. I told you at the beginning it's a battle between the patient and the disease, who gives in first.”

 

“I know, but I know my baby won't give up. So what are her chances?”

 

I know that too. I see a lot of patients, some are stronger willed than others. It doesn't make them better, it just makes them better at handling speed bumps. Krista is strong though, and, despite her small frame, I know she can take a lot. Doesn't mean I want to put her through it though. “Well, she has her age on her side. Most people with this are either young kids or older people. So, since her body was, despite the leukemia, in perfect condition she can take a little harder of a beating with the treatment. If I can get this next dose to work and we go to transplant, she has a good chance. Not only is the donor a relative but it's a man and male to female transplants tend to have less chance of GVHD. So overall, her chances are better than most.”

 

Ymir nods but I don't know if she grasped everything I said. I've seen her looking up medical journals online, asking about the treatment whenever I come in so, I have to assume she knows more than the Average Joe.

 

“Ymir, I can promise you this, I won't give up. I will fight and keep throwing whatever I can at this 'till its gone. So long as Krista wants to fight it, I will fight it with her.” It's not easy but I meet her gaze with my own and I try to not let my own fears show. It's not just about me, this is about a young girl with a whole life ahead of her.

 

We stare at each other for a long moment before Ymir finally nods again. “I know you will. I know, and Krista knows it too. We're going to fight this and win.”

 

I smile, and I honestly have no idea if it even looks right because all I can feel are my eyes starting to sting. I think, I muttered a goodbye and as I walk away I hear Ymir go back into the room. There's no room for me to get attached, I know that, but sometimes there's cases where you simply can't help it. I like to think the more I connect with the fighting spirit of a patient, the harder I work too.

 

I'm going to help Krista beat this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krista and Ymir's situation is based on my own personal experience with my best friend who suffered through Leukemia for two years. I hesitated to write about it but I feel this might also help me move on from things so I'm putting it in this story using my two favorite girls. trust me I feel bad for doing this to them.
> 
> All medical talk is what I remember from several conversations I had with doctors though I'm paraphrasing in some cases, and reading medical articles. So not all information is 100% accurate but you get the idea.
> 
> See you next update!


	3. Doctor Marco Bodt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean comes back to work only to start the day off shitty. Fortunately it's about to take a very unexpected turn in his favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's left me kudos. Each time I see that number go up I smile. I hope you're enjoying the story. This time Jean and Marco have some decent interaction. Enjoy~!

After my visit to give the news to Krista and Ymir, I'd gone home to take a hot shower and then went over a few chemo options. By the time I rolled into work at 7am the following day, I was running on low sleep. I shouldn't be obsessing over this case but I am. I've had a lot of failures lately. No, it's bad to think of it that way, I know. The problem is even if as a doctor I need to maintain my professionalism, it's hard to do when all of my patients eventually die. Maybe _all_ is a bit cynical, some do live but since I specialize in this type, it's more often than not that I watch them die.

 

This time I want to change that. I want this to work.

 

After making some of my rounds, I head to the cafeteria to snag some breakfast and a coffee. I secure a bagel but, in a tragedy that rivals all others, there was no coffee to be had. Staring at the few dark drops in my cup, I wonder which God I pissed off today. Fuck it, energy drink it is! It's cold, not nearly as satisfying as that hot, bitter liquid that gets me through the day but it'll simply have to do.

 

At this point I'm honestly expecting the day to completely go from bad to worse. So, imagine my surprise to find the cafeteria pretty empty and one doctor Marco Bodt sitting by the window eating, alone. An opportunity this perfect can't possibly be real, right? I look around for Eren, half expecting the little shit to come ruin my shot, but he's nowhere to be seen. Fuck yes!

 

Moseying over to the table, I put on my very best smile; which I assume is about as charming as a slug since I probably look like crap, but work with what ya got, right? “This seat taken?”

 

Marco looks up at me, blinking a bit before even reacting to my comment. I'm blessed with a little smile and a slightly cocked brow. “Wow, use that line often?”

 

Yes! I sit down across from him and slide my tray carefully onto the table. “Only with handsome doctors who have freckles.” I know, I'm so fucking obvious it hurts.

 

It's not an entirely bad move though since Marco's sassy expression immediately dissipates into a flustered one. “Ah..okay that..that one was better...”

 

He is _so_ cute. “I try.” Smirking, I take in that expression while Marco's eyes are trying to look at anything but me. He doesn't look as tired today. “Did you rest up on your day off? How was your movie date with your cat?”

 

Marco sticks a fork into the scrambled eggs on his plate and that smile makes another appearance. “Fine. We marathoned the entirety of Firefly...again.” He laughs and my ears can't help but note the change in tone. Is he nervous? Will he think that I think he's dorky? What does he think about? I want to know. It's insane how desperate I am to get into his head every time we exchange just a few words.

 

“I assume you finished it off with the movie?” Raising my bagel to my lips, I take a bite, but I don't let my gaze stray from him. Maybe because Marco rarely talks this long with me, I've trained myself to read his body language. Though I honestly don't know if I'm even reading him right. Maybe it's all in my head!

 

“I was going to, but then I'd get sad. If I don't watch the movie I can pretend they fly off into space and everyone is alive.” Marco's eyes meet mine finally, a little flash of excitement in them.

 

“I am a leaf on the wind....”

 

“Don't..don't say it. It hurts thinking about.” Placing a hand over his heart, Marco's expression changes to one of mock sadness, or maybe it's genuine.

 

“I'll be honest, I actually totally bawled in the theater at that part and yelled 'What the fuck?'. I almost got kicked out of the theater for that little comment.” I'm not joking, I was so upset about it that I almost wrote a very stern, pissy letter to Joss Whedon. Fortunately I'm a lazy bastard when it comes to that kind of thing, so I opted for marathoning the show again.

 

“Really?” Marco laughs again. “I know I cried, but I think I was in such shock I didn't even know how to react.” I can see him starting to relax a little. “So given this new bit of information I have to ask...Buffy fan?”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course! That was my crack back in highschool.” I can feel my pulse jump a bit. Half of the reason is simply because Marco is finally talking to me about his interests and the other half is because I'm able to talk to someone about my likes without the teasing. Jaeger always gives me shit for the things I watch, which is why I give him plenty of shit back. “Angel or Spike?” I stare hard at him, seeing those eyes twinkle a little more.

 

Marco inhales sharply, his face pinching up as he thinks. “Can I say both?”

 

“Nope, you gotta pick one! Choose wisely.” Leaning closer as take another bite of my bagel with a smug look on my face as I watch him struggle openly.

 

“Angel then.” He looks conflicted still with the answer and I almost find him more attractive for it.

 

“Tch...of course you would...” Eying him, I have a brief moment where I almost think that sweet look on Marco's face reminds me of the Angel puppy eyes.

 

“Let me guess. Spike fan?”

 

“No, I like both.” The pout I get for that comment was worth it. Oh god, it was _so_ worth it. I want to giggle but I know it'll come out all goofy and giddy to the point that it might freak Marco out, so I hold it in.

 

“You said I had to pick one.”

 

“Well _you_ do. I'm special.”

 

The pout becomes a bit more aggressive, which is a first. “You're teasing me, aren't you?”

 

“A little... but also because I think it's cute when you pout.” Aaaand there is the flustered look again! God, he's too easy to ruffle. Maybe he's not used to being hit on? He's clearly not freaking out so I know it's not like he finds my flirting disgusting. “Hey, you free tonight?”

 

Hesitation, once again. I can see Marco considering it, much like how he had the other night. He's probably wondering if I'm drinking with Eren again.

 

“Just us.” I add, in hopes of reassuring him. “I don't exactly see you hanging with anyone at the hospital. You got something against getting to know your coworkers?” Cheap jab, I know.

 

“That's not it. I just...I've been busy...” Shit, Marco actually looks upset.

 

“I'm just teasing again,” Please don't make that face. “But seriously, want to go drinking with me? It's on me. We can chat, maybe I can get you to tell me your life story after I get a few drinks into you.” I smile at him, trying to ease him into agreeing. I feel a little sly, but only a little.

 

He's staring at me again. For a moment I think he's going to refuse again until, “Alright. However I cannot promise you my life story is very exciting.”

 

“I highly doubt that. You could tell me you had a silly sock collection and I would find that interesting.” Oh too strong, back it up, Jean!

 

Marco actually looks confused and I'm wondering if I somehow chased him away again. “But...I do have a silly sock collection.” His comment is so serious that I almost believe him. What gives him away was the tiny quirk of his lips.

 

Jesus help me, he's yanking my chain! “Why, Doctor Bodt, are you being sarcastic?”

 

“Me? No...” The sarcasm is even thicker this time.

 

There is a long pause and somehow we end up in equally sarcastic poses as we speak. I'm sure we look like dorks to anyone walking by, but like I fucking care! Marco Bodt is finally talking to me! We're clicking, we're joking, and he's agreed to go out with me, even if it's totally platonic for now. Staring at him I can't keep the smile from forming on my face and his own lips mirror mine before we both crack up laughing. I want to try and stop because I can't quite hear his laugh over my own ringing in my ears. When I finally manage to get my own under control, Marco is already licking his lips and sipping at his coffee before he clears his throat. The few seconds I could hear it were not enough.

 

I need to make him laugh again. I want to. I want to see that smile and hear his laugh so badly. It's not even that I'm starting to totally crush harder on him either. I just find it so charming and pleasant that I want to latch onto it, never let it go. See, the thing about Marco Bodt is that, even though he's sexually my type, before that, before I even had a sexy thought upon meeting him, I felt a sense of calm being in his presence. When I see Marco I feel calm, I feel like the world around me isn't a mess. The other doesn't have to do anything else but simply smile. In that smile I see something I've been slowly losing, _hope_. Maybe it's unfair to subconsciously put this on him. I really don't think I'm doing that douchy thing where I'm projecting expectations on him. I just...Dammit, I just want to be near him.

 

I was probably spacing out too long in my own head because when I come back to myself, Marco is placing his plastic fork and coffee cup on his tray. “I should get back to work. Um...my shift ends at six so..where do you want to meet?”

 

Meet? Looking at him, I almost forgot that I invited him for drinks. “Oh...right I..uh get off at seven so if you don't mind waiting around a bit, we can go together from here or I can come pick you up at your place?”

 

Marco tenses. Back peddle!

 

“Oooor we can meet up there?”

 

I see Marco's shoulders loosen a bit. “I can hang around for you. It'll give me a chance to do some paperwork.” Now he sounds shy, which is about as cute as his pouts.

 

“Alright. Then I'll meet you in the break room on the third floor?” It's in the cancer ward and if I know he's there it'll help me get through the last hour.

 

Marco nods. “Meet you in there then.”

 

“Ok."

 

“Ok.” I actually expected him to retreat quickly like usually but he's almost dragging his feet, looking at me for a bit before turning to go dump his garbage and recycling near the door.

 

I, however, still watch him. He's interested in me too, right? I'm not imagining it? I don't want to assume he'd be into guys but I'm getting some pretty obvious reads that he's interested. I could just be delusional, but I opt for the more optimistic thought. The one fall back with that is that I'm starting to panic. I have a date (platonic) with Marco Bodt and I honestly have no idea how I'm going to concentrate today.

 

 

 

 

“Ugh, you look disgustingly happy...” Eren's look of disgust actually gives me strength. Suck it, Jaeger! This is how I feel when you get all gooey over your boyfriend and girlfriend! “Stop it.”

 

“No, I'm allowed to smile.” I make a note on a chart and check the monitor at the nurses station.

 

“Not if it's giving me the creeps, dude.” Eren shoved me a bit and my writing squiggles off the page.

 

“If only you knew how many fucks I don't give.” I go back to finishing the notes, still smirking. I'm practically doing it just to tick him off now, if I'm being honest.

 

“What gives? You got a hot date or something?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Is it that person you won't tell me about cause you're all superstitious and shit?”

 

“Maybe.”  _Only I'm not superstitious, you asshat. I don't want you to fuck it up for me._

 

Eren rolls his eyes and starts clicking on things to log in the most recent vitals he took from the patient. “Just try to tone down the Joker smirk or you'll terrify them.”

 

“If anyone has creepy grins, it's you.” I mutter but don't get a response since it seems like Eren is actually now focusing. “Alright, I'm off now so I'll see you tomorrow. You work?”

 

“Yeah.” He sighs and leans back in his chair. “I get off at ten and then I'm back bright and early at five, so if I'm cranky I'm not sorry.”

 

“You are such a charmer. How Mikasa and Armin keep their hands off you is beyond me.”

 

Eren shrugs. “It's a curse, I know.”

 

I want to make a snide remark about him being a curse in general but my asshole radar goes off and I shut that thought down. I like to think I've matured a little, not that that meant I wasn't still going to think it though. I leave Eren to his own work and head to the locker room to change, a little bounce in my step.  _I got a date with Marco~ I got a date with Marco~!_

 

I want to run to the break room to find him but force myself to walk. I can't look like some over-eager puppy, no matter how much progress this is. I finally have a chance to learn more about Marco! Reaching the break room, I see him sitting down, reading something on his laptop. “Hey you. Come here often?”

 

He looks at me and this time it's like just seeing me makes him smile... or I tell myself that anyways. “Hey.” He closes his computer before answering my question. “Sometimes... I'm meeting a hot date.” I almost get caught up on the word “date” but fortunately my wit kicks in enough to supply an answer.

 

“Really now?” I walk closer, “You should totally ditch him and come with me instead.”

 

“But I'd feel bad.” He feigns concern. “What if we run into him when we leave?”

 

“I'll handle it. I'm sure he'll understand if you choose a handsome stud like me over him.” I'm not sure how much of this is a joke. I almost wonder if this is more flirting. It is, right?

 

The laugh I get for my comment makes my stomach flutter though and anymore witty banter I had goes out the window. “Are you all finished with everything?” His tone has turned a bit more serious and the moment has passed.

 

“Yeah, I'm all done so if you're ready we can go. Mind if I drive? You take the bus, right?”

 

Marco's surprise is obvious and I want to kick myself. Oh god, he's going to think I've been, like, stalking him! “Yeah. Uh..how did you know?”

 

Quick, think Kirschtein! “I saw you getting off at the bus stop near here on my way in a few weeks ago.” Which is true, it totally is true. See? Totally not a stalker, I'm just observant.

 

“Alright well, guess I'm in your capable hands tonight then.” There is a very long pause. I look at Marco and he looks right back. I'm not the only one who thought that sounded suggestive, right? My question is answered as I watch Marco stare at me a bit before his eyes widen and his face goes just the slightest shade of pink. “I mean....y...you know what I meant, right?” His voice has gone just a little more high pitched than usual.

 

“Oh..yeah.” I wave my hand at him casually. “I totally know what you meant.” I do not know what he meant. Logically I know it was just phrasing but there's a teeny tiny hopeful part of me that wants it to be entirely intentional. “So, let's...uh..go. Yeah, let's go!”

 

“Right.” Marco grabs his bag and flings it over his shoulder.

 

I can't look at him as I turn and walk out the door. I only know he's there by the sound of his foot steps, but I don't dare look back. I can't. If I do, he's going to see how red my face is because of how fucking adorable he is.

 

 


End file.
